Just Follow Your Heart. Really?

This is going to be one of those stories that doesn't make look like a hero, doesn't end in glory and certainly won't be material for a front, or back page story of any newspaper. I'm not even talking the local gazette that is stuck in your fence once a week with weekly coupons. I am sharing this story in the hopes that by the end of it, we can shed a little more light on the age old saying of 'Follow Your Heart."

I was 18 years old and beginning my junior year in college. Fortunately my high school offered summer courses for those that wanted to graduate early so I took advantage of that and ran out of high school faster than a track and field competitor at the Olympics. I was never very fond of school. Although I did well enough, it wasn't my favorite place to be so whenever I could advance my studies, I did. So there I was, in September, beginning a new semester, majoring in music. Since music was my major I had no problem going to classes for that so it was a good time. I did however, want to be a part of a sports team in college. I had heard so much about college sports, I figured, hey, I could do that so I signed up. Soccer was my choice and since the World Cup had just been hosted but the US just a few months prior, I though it was a perfect fit and I was very excited.

Keep in mind that until now, I had only played friendly games in the park, kicked the ball around with my dad and perhaps played only a handful of official games so I was pretty green to say the least. Of course, I didn't know that. I though I was the next Beckham waiting to take the field so I went into those tryouts expecting to impress them beyond words. I don't have to give all of the embarrassing details but suffice to say that I did not make anyone's, including the coaches, jaw drop. I was exhausted, I was sore and I couldn't believe that any human being could play that hard, and this was only training!

I stuck it out, hoping for the best and wanting to prove myself. I made the team and I went to every practice, day after day, three hours at a time. Adding this to my already busy school schedule was quite difficult but I knew I could do it. I was going to show them that I could do it and be a good player for the team. Fast forward three months and I can't really tell you how well I played but I can give you detailed courtroom like drawing from the sidelines of what the game looks like from the bench. Yes, I was benched the whole season. I must have played a total of 20 game minutes, usually at the end of the game when there was no chance of winning or losing if we were up by enough points.

Now before you go spewing your awwws and throwing a pity party my way, I will politely stop you in order that we can see something else behind all of this, something that perhaps can show us some value into present day frustrations that mirror the one I went through. Now granted, at the time, I won't lie, I was angry with the coach for not putting me in but looking back I wouldn't have put me in either. Fast forward to the present time and now I know that that time served a very interesting purpose for me and being who I wanted to be.

I remember that feeling of wanting to do something and going for it. I was stubborn, but in a good way. I'm sure some friends and family might disagree, but I am sure that there is good stubbornness and bad stubbornness. The bad kind we'll leave for another time but the good kind gets us through those times that seem impossible and unlikely. Some call it resolve, some determination, I call it stubbornness. It's being a little oblivious to everything that stands in between you and that goal. Although I didn't get to play as much as I would have liked in the game, practicing with the team over time made me a better player that lets me enjoy the game much more even as I continue to play today.

Teamwork? What was that all about? I learned those skills.

Patience? I didn't want to wait for anyone or anything.

Humility? Well, let's just say I got a double dose of that one.

So the big question remains, "Is following your heart worth it?"

Always. You may bruise, you may be humiliated and you may even shake your fist to the heavens declaring "Why me?" but in the end, what makes your road special is just that, it's yours and nobody else. The even neater thing is that even if you don't get exactly what you think you wnated, God teaches you a whole bunch of other things that you can use later. Not a bad return on investment.

If you're stubborn like me, you'll buy a whole bunch of shares of heart stock too. See you on the trading floor.

much heart love
~adrian

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